photo-4I had it all in order; labeled every scrap,
Studied each piece and every memory that triggered
Then I boxed it all up and packed it away
And I never gave it a second thought
until now
the quake in me left nothing undisturbed
the closets all spilled out
and dusty memories now lay underfoot,
old letters scattered across the floor
something is rolling along the upstairs hallway,
rethinking its track, and rolling back again
over and over
things that seemed dead and buried long ago
unearthed themselves and left muddy footprints
on my kitchen floor
and now there’s a faint humming sound,
like the buzzing of bees in a garden,
though these frayed wires
generate no sparks,
for this stuff is old,
old and dead to me,
but making one hellfire mess

And I need you to see exactly what I see,
exactly what is here, all over the place,
spilling out, for you
for you started it,
you caused all this
and I stand here exposed
so I can finally let it go

So look at the puddles, the mud,
the moldy half-eaten chocolates
the dusty phone
the dining room with only one chair
the unburned candles
the empty vases

and yes, I will pack this all up again,
only this time I’ll get it out of my house
and leave it on the curb
for Tuesday’s weekly pickup
These things that I’ve held close,
the protection of them all,
the locks and the keys that don’t unlock them and
the wasted closet space,
housing these things that I tried to shelter
all of it old and lifeless and seemingly harmless
yet I trip on it daily now that it’s out
older than the dirt I buried it under

And yet, even now,
I pick it up and I hold it close

~
My first book, Upside Down Kingdom, is available on Amazon.

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